The Phoenix

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

Emmett Curran

Emmett Curran

With Valentine’s Day festivities in full swing, many couples are beginning to make plans for their special night. While most people are distracted by all of the chocolates and flowers, those who do not have a significant other to spend the day with are left in the dust to fend for themselves. While some singles may be scrambling to find a date for the night, there are still many desperate students who have accepted the fact that they are going to be alone, and they are making their own plans to guarantee a fun Singles Awareness Day (also known as S.A.D.)

When asked what their plans were for tomorrow, there were some interesting responses from “Independent” Holy Family students:

“I don’t have to participate in S.A.D. because this guy from another school (it’s pretty far away you’ve probably never heard of it) keeps asking me out, so I’ll probably do something with him. He’s really popular and really athletic but he doesn’t have any social media so don’t try to look him up or anything. He’s definitely real.”

~Leigh Steiner, Junior

“I’m planning on binge-watching Riverdale and putting on a relaxing face mask. But I’m not, like, going to be alone or anything… haha that would make me such a loser, good thing my dog Hank is going to be there too.”

~Caitlin Dolan, Senior

“Going to the Library.”

~Riley Palattao, Junior

“What am I doing for Valentine’s Day? Hmmm, well I have no immediate plans. If I’m being completely honest I’ll probably just sit home and edit some stuff for the Phoenix.”

~Mark Haran (Editor in Chief), Senior

“I don’t really know. Maybe I’ll head over to Petsmart…the animals always love me there! They’re really soft and cute and give me lots of attention.”

~Abbey Fink, Sophomore

“My Valentine’s Day really isn’t going to be different than any other day for me. I’ll probably just spend a few hours scrolling through Tinder and making sure my online dating profiles look appealing while multitasking and playing Fortnite.”

~Rory Johnson, Sophomore

“That’s none of your business.”

~Lauren Taylor, Freshman

”I’ll be perfecting my ‘Farmers Only’ profile in hope of a last-minute match.”

~Mr. Witchger

So as these “self-sufficient” individuals have demonstrated, Singles’ Awareness Day does not need to be S.A.D. after all. All that is needed is some tasty food, good shows, and cute pets! Human beings are not necessary to have a fun night. Worst comes to worst, everyone is busy doing homework all night anyway, which is the most likely outcome.

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