I am truly sorry if you opened this article thinking that you were about to read a step by step WikiHow type of post that would ultimately teach you how to be confident in your own skin. This, instead, is a point by point article that will explain to you how I choose to deal with my insecurities. The social stigma is that only some unstable individuals actually struggle with insecurities. This is incorrect. Everyone, whether they want to admit it or not, struggles with some form of insecurity. I do not write this with the intent that all of your insecurities will instantly disappear, but rather that you gain one thing from reading what I have to say regarding this issue.

Insecurities are often defined as a feeling of uncertainty, lacking confidence and experiencing anxiety about one’s self. The only certain thing about insecurities is that EVERYONE experiences them.

We often worry about what others will think of us – whether or not our personal appearances are good enough. It’s hard in today’s day and age to wonder if we will fail or succeed. The number of topics that we, as humans, can overthink, is extensive. More now than ever are our appearances and image what “makes us ourselves”. This social stigma has affected nearly everyone in society – including males. A commonality regarding insecurities is that males don’t experience them like women do. This is not true. It is almost inevitable to not have insecurities with all the pressure we face from those around us.

In our society, we live to portray an image of ourselves that is socially acceptable. Through the use of social media and other means, our culture has become oriented around comparison. I have heard girls say, “Does my body look like theirs?”. This reality saddens me but pushes me to express to as many people out there that insecurities are normal and that you shouldn’t be ashamed of them. I have my own insecurities, as I’m sure you do too. How we react to these insecurities though, is what really matters. How do we conquer this feeling of insecurity? Is there a cure? The good news is that there is. Self-love in an uphill journey but is rewarding once reached.

Self-love is confidence. Self-love is accepting yourself for who you are. Simply loving yourself may seem like an easy fix, but overcoming insecurities is easier said than done. There is always room to grow and love yourself more. You cannot help those around you or care for others until you can provide for yourself first! It all starts with you. If you embrace yourself to your fullest potential, your insecurities will eventually fade away. This is not a day long process, but rather a choice to be made every day. A choice to love yourself.

Practicing self-love is essentially the same as working out – it helps us lead a healthy lifestyle that allows us to grow into the best version of ourselves. We cannot truly see the world or others for what it is or what they are, until we come to terms with ourselves. A good way to practice self-love is taking time to remind ourselves of all the positive qualities that we shelter. Thinking of the things that we love about ourselves is not selfish, but rather a confidence builder in the grand scheme of life.

How do we accept ourselves for who we truly are?

How do we learn to see our imperfections as beautiful and unique?

Another way to conquer your insecurities is to forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself. What? Forgive yourself for what?

Think of all the things you get frustrated at yourself for. Human nature causes us to replay situations over and over. It is impossible to recognize your true self-worth when you’re mad at yourself. It is more often than not that these “mistakes” tend to just be irrational thoughts. We cannot beat ourselves up. This will only cause us to feel more insecure with who we are. Let your frustrations go. Seriously. It’ll be so much easier to grow into who you are meant to be if you let the mistakes that you, or other have made, go. Say sorry to that person – even if that person is yourself –, and move on. We can’t be living in the past and grow.

My last bit of advice on how to deal with insecurities is the hardest to do in my opinion.

Here’s why: it is so easy to get caught up in other people’s opinions and what others may think of you. Whether it be about you, your future, or other life decisions, people always seem to offer their advice and input on the matter. The important thing here is to remember yourself. No one knows you like you do. Deep down you know what you truly want, and no one else can answer for you. Those on the outside, no matter how close you are to them, will never know yourself like you do.

Pictures and posts of ourselves are a fun way to document happenings in our lives and stay connected with each other. However, the lives of others depicted on social media are often the highlight reel. I can speak to this and also admit that I don’t post pictures that I think I look bad in. No one does. Social media is our society’s way of showing off the best parts of their lives. Nobody wants to air their problems or baggage. What you or others post on social media doesn’t matter though. How you feel about yourself deep down is what truly matters. Live your life how you want to. Listen to your conscience and try your best to not compare yourselves to others. The beauty here is that no one else is you. We are all different in our own unique ways. Recognize that you were designed specifically as you are and put your best foot forward to attempt to crush all wishes to be someone else.

Self-love is a journey that can only be traveled by you. Embrace yourself. Wherever you are on your self love journey, just start from you’re at and take it day by day. We were made the way we are for a reason. What makes the world so special is that all of us are unique individuals that provide our own talents. Be the person you were created to be because nobody else can. Know yourself and be proud of that. Defeat your insecurities and go out into the world and own it.

Make your mark.